Loss of sex drive is normal and frequent amongst mature men and women. It is often due to a decrease in hormones levels, caused by perimenopause or menopause for women, but men can also experience a lack of libido because of low testosterone, for instance. This loss of desire may also be the consequence of stress or depression.
However, even though loss of sex drive is common, finding the right treatment can be complex. To find a solution and renew sexual desire you first need to understand what’s causing the issue, something which is often more easily said than done.
If you are in a relationship, this lack of libido might be a source of stress and problems within your couple. Equally, if you’ve started to date other senior singles, you’ll eventually meet partners who will want to have sexual intercourse.
Rest assured, there are several solutions to help you recover your lost sex drive, even after 60. One’s sex life after 60 does not stop, and it can be even better than ever. Here are our best tips to help you increase your libido:
Change your habits
You’re almost certainly aware of the fact that smoking and drinking alcohol have an impact on your health. But did you know that these habits can also affect your libido? Certain studies suggest that both alcohol and tobacco can cause a drop in testosterone levels, which can lead to a loss of libido. Moreover, male smokers have a higher risk of erectile dysfunction (sexual impotence) than people who don’t smoke.
Get better sleep
Sleep deprivation can lead to stress, mood changes, trouble thinking and concentrating… and low sex drive. Moreover, bad sleep can affect your hormone production (for instance, testosterone). If you have trouble sleeping or experience insomnia, try relaxation techniques, maintaining a healthier diet, and exercising. If the problem persists, it is worth paying a visit to your doctor.
Go back to the gym
Not only does exercising help you to stay fit, it also helps your body to release endorphins. The effects of these chemicals are amazing: they trigger a positive feeling in your body, reduce stress and depression, boost your self-esteem, and therefore, boost your libido.
Although exercising is good for everyone, this is especially great for those with depression or stress issues. If you’re thinking of starting working out again after a long break, it’s best to consult your doctor first, to ensure that everything is all right.
Have positive thoughts about yourself
Some people feel insecure with their body or not good enough for their partner. These negative thoughts can lead to depression and stress and can have a serious impact on sexual desire. If you have low self-esteem, talk about this with people you trust. They love you as you are, and hearing the positive things they think about you might be helpful.
Consulting a psychologist or psychiatrist could also enable you to work on your self-esteem. Moreover, treating yourself, exercising, doing relaxation techniques, repeating positive things about yourself, as well as doing things that you love may also help you to feel better.
Talk with your partner
Couples having sexual issues often don’t talk about them. However, starting the conversation could help you to understand each other’s needs and concerns. Discuss what may have caused the loss of sex drive (if you know). This is also the ideal opportunity to talk about your couple and your feelings, as well as any issues that you might be having in your relationship.
Talk also about sex itself. Express what you want, discuss how you could improve intercourse, whether by trying certain sexual positions or by incorporating sex toys, etc. This could help you to understand each other better, as well as to make sex more pleasant and fun. Try to be honest and understanding.
Moreover, many women who have sex drive issues complain about being tired because of their daily tasks and responsibilities (job, children, marriage, house chores, etc.). If this is your case, talk about this with your senior partner in order to find a solution, for instance, a better division of household chores.
A reduced libido might be the consequence of a routine in bed. Adding novelty could help you to boost your libido. Why not try new positions, erotic role-playing or the use of sex toys? There is a wide variety of sexual games and positions and plenty of new things to try, even after 50, 60 or 70! Discuss this with your 50+ partner to find out what they like. Also, remember that foreplay plays an important role in increasing desire.
As mentioned above, stress can trigger a lack of libido. In addition to exercising and having positive thoughts about yourself, there are many other highly effective ways of reducing stress. These include mindfulness meditative techniques, breathing exercises, acupuncture, massage and yoga.
Breathing exercises are easy and can be done anywhere, anytime. One of them consists simply of taking a long, deep breath in from your stomach, making your diaphragm inflate enough to stretch your lungs, then exhaling slowly. Repeat this several times until you feel more relaxed.
Skeptical about these techniques? Give them a try before judging them. You might be surprised by their effectiveness! And if a technique doesn’t work for you, don’t worry. There are plenty of other methods to help you relax.
Try testosterone supplements if you are a woman
Testosterone therapy might be the solution if you are a woman with a loss of sex drive.
Women’s bodies produce testosterone too. This hormone is essential for maintaining a healthy libido, as well as strong bones and muscles. During perimenopause or menopause, women can experience a drop in testosterone levels, sometimes even years before their periods stop. As a result, women can experience stress, depression and lack of libido.
Testosterone supplements, whether in pill form, creams, patches or gels, might help you to boost your sex drive. Why not ask your doctor about these?
Pay a visit to your doctor
If you experience a loss of sex drive, don’t hesitate to talk about it with your GP. This decrease of desire might be the consequence of a condition, such as an endocrine disorder, a drop in testosterone, low estrogen, stress or depression. There might be a treatment adapted to your situation.
Your doctor may ask you to undergo a series of tests to find out what’s causing your loss of sex drive and perhaps prescribe you treatments, whether this be psychotherapy or medications to treat your condition (Viagra or Prozac, for instance).
Whatever the source of your problem, don’t worry. Low sex drive can be treated. Start looking for a solution so that you can have fun having sex again after 60!