Our tips for Dating after divorce
In 2016, 106,959 couples got divorced in the UK, which is 5.8% more than in 2015 according to the ONS. Those divorcing the most were women in their thirties and 45-49-year-old men.
Although these stats are much lower than the peak figures observed in 2003, plenty of British couples divorce every year and become single again in their forties, fifties or later on in life.
As their love and sex lives are far from over, many of these divorcees start dating again, often in the hopes of finding their significant other. However, for those whose last experience of dating was in their twenties or thirties, getting back into the game can seem complicated. What are the rules of dating today? Where do I look to find other singles my own age? What will my family think about me dating someone else? Not to worry though! Read on as we explain how to date again after a divorce.
How long should I wait before dating again?Going through a divorce can be really hard emotionally, and even physically. Unfortunately, many divorcees start dating again while they are still coping with their divorce. The risk of dating too early is that you may end up feeling even more hurt and reproducing all the same mistakes, whether that means picking the wrong person over and over and again or committing yourself to a relationship that won’t ever make you happy. You need to allow yourself enough time to heal and to get rid of all the anger and resentment that you feel for your ex.
Knowing whether it’s the right time to see other people is a very personal decision which will depend entirely on you and your own experience. Some people will start dating right after their divorce, others after a few months, and others after several years. Don’t rush yourself if you feel that you want to stay single for a while, even if your friends and family are pushing you to meet new people. You don’t have to. It’s completely up to you.
Incidentally, you might never know for certain whether you are ready. You usually know more when you are not ready. If you resent the idea of being with someone else and you feel that you need space, then don’t force yourself. Conversely, if you’re not sure whether you want to date again or have some time to yourself, you can always give dating a try and see if it’s for you.
How can I date after a divorce?Many divorcees who become single again after ten, twenty, thirty or more years of marriage feel lost and even anxious about dating and its new rules. However, even though a few little things have changed, dating today is not that different than it was a few decades ago.
Moreover, you might have the impression that you’re the only single person of your age or that there is no one worth dating around you. Here again, don’t worry. You’re not alone. There are many other great seniors looking for a relationship, too. You just need to know where to look.There are plenty of places to find 50+ singles. If you haven't already done so, join the gym, clubs, associations or any other groups of your choice to help you to meet new people. Not only do these activities provide you with a fantastic opportunity to go out, be helpful and learn something new, they are also perfect for meeting people who share the same interests as you. Additionally, if eventually, you don’t meet any dateable men or women, you’ll surely create amazing friendships.
Your friends can also help you meet singles. Let them know that you’re ready to start dating again. You can ask them to introduce you to singles or to organise a dinner or a party where you could meet other seniors looking for a date.
Give senior dating websites a tryIf you don’t know anyone interesting around you, why not give dating websites a try? It’s easy and today, every generation – including seniors - are looking for partners online. Therefore, you can find plenty of singles with just a few clicks.
First, you need to register with a dating website that suits your search - for instance, 2seniors.co.uk is dedicated to seniors looking for a serious relationship or a friendship. Then, you create your profile – this includes a brief description of your search and who you are. Add a great profile picture that shows you at your best. When your profile is complete, you can start browsing profiles and contacting people. Meet them quickly, within two or three weeks, to find out if they could be a match.
How can I tell my family that I’m dating again?If you have young children or teenagers at home, you most likely won’t be bringing your dates back to your place before the relationship gets more serious. However, it’s best not to lie, and explain to them in simple words that you’re starting to see other people. Let them express their feelings and make sure they know this won’t change the fact that you love them and that you’ll always be there for them. You don’t need to say much, and you can change the topic if they ask you for more details that you prefer not to divulge.
If your children are grown up, they’ll probably be happy knowing that you’re seeing someone again, just like your parents or other members of your family would. If this is not the case and they don’t approve despite your explanations, remember that you’re an adult. You have the right to make your own decisions, no matter what they think.
Will I find love again?Yes, you can find love again after 40, 50, 60 or even later on. Many people find love again after a divorce, and some even marry a second (or third) time!
Don’t worry, you'll find your significant other. However, to improve your chances of finding love again, it’s best to be proactive in your search. You’re reducing your odds if you’re staying at home watching TV or going to the usual places hoping that Mrs. or Mr. Right will just appear out of the blue and start a conversation with you. You’ll also need a great deal of patience, as finding love can sometimes (but not always!) take years.
So, keep searching. You’ll find your special one eventually, even if you have to date several men or women. Take dating as an opportunity to meet amazing and interesting people, even if they are not necessarily the right person for you. Enjoy every little moment and have fun!