How to Know You Are Ready for a Serious Relationship
You have recently been through a divorce or a separation and wonder if it’s finally time for you to start dating again? Or perhaps you’ve already begun to date someone that you met on a senior dating website or somewhere else and you would like to know if you are ready for a serious relationship? Whatever your situation, knowing whether or not you are really ready to start a new relationship is a tough one. It is, however, an essential thing to consider, in order to avoid anyone getting hurt or the relationship being destined to fail.
First of all, having a respectful attitude towards ourselves and being free from resentment or anger towards our ex means that we’re already on the right track towards starting a new relationship. However, having met someone you find attractive doesn’t necessarily mean that you are ready for a serious relationship. If you want a relationship to work, you’ll have to ensure that you are capable of building a strong foundation. Finally, your level of readiness will influence whether your relationship stands a chance.
You want to be in a relationshipMany 50+ singles feel pressured by family, friends, colleagues and society to find a life partner. If you’re looking for a companion or considering it, are you doing so for others or for you? It’s a mistake to throw yourself into a relationship just because you feel that you have to, or because you think life will be easier that way.
Although it’s true that the daily grind can seem more manageable when you share your life with someone, these practical considerations are not a sufficiently good reason to get involved romantically. Basing a relationship on such weak foundations is a bad idea. Being with someone special is more than that: it is a commitment that requires time and effort. You need to really want to be with a partner otherwise you won’t be willing to put any work into your relationship.
You don’t need someone to feel completeAs a mature adult, you probably feel more complete and self-confident than ever before. One of the best things (amongst many) about being 50+ is that you don’t experience the anxiety and feelings of insecurity that often trouble your younger counterparts. Therefore, you don’t need someone who will complete you, as you already are complete. Aim instead for a companion who totally accepts you and with whom you can have fun and enjoy your life.
If, on the contrary, you currently suffer from a lack of confidence (perhaps because of a recent separation), it’s important that you establish a healthy relationship with yourself first, before looking for a relationship.
You don’t feel resentment for your ex anymoreThe opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference, right? Although this quote from Elie Wiesel may sound a bit clichéd, holding on to a grudge against your ex (husband or wife) probably means that you’re not completely over them yet. Feelings of sadness, anger or jealousy aren’t good signs either. Wait for the healing process to complete before beginning a new relationship. You need to free yourself from this past relationship in order to move on to a new one and to be able to create some space for another partner.
Compromising doesn’t scare youEveryone who has been involved in a relationship knows how important it can be to compromise from time to time. On the contrary, when you’re single, there is no one forcing you to watch a program that you don’t like or asking you to visit people that you may not appreciate. You simply do whatever you want, when you want.
Being in a relationship means sharing the remote control, dividing house chores, making decisions jointly (for instance, where to go on holiday). In short, it’s compromising and making sacrifices. Because if you truly love someone you’re willing to do things that you don’t really like, just to make them happy.
You’re ready to make space for someoneHere is a common situation amongst active 50+ people: On Monday, you go to the gym. On Tuesday, you usually meet your friends for a drink and/or dinner. On Wednesday, you look after your grandson. On Thursday, you see your friend Susan, Friday is for cooking classes and your weekend is divided between visiting your parents, going to the club and relaxing. In short, you don’t have any gaps in your busy schedule for someone else. If you want to start a new relationship, you will need to let people into your life and be willing to set aside time for them. Because no matter how busy our life is, there is always space for those we love.
You’re happy nowOf course, you may feel lonely and want to put an end to being single. But apart from this feeling of loneliness, if you are generally happy about most things in your life, then that’s a good sign. What’s less of a good sign is when you expect a relationship to change everything and convince yourself that that being with someone will finally make you happy. Don’t look for a partner to be your savior, otherwise your relationship will be worryingly one-sided and, very likely, doomed to fail.
You think you are ready for a serious relationship? Find mature singles online by browsing our fifty plus members’ profiles. Contact those who you think could be a match and wait for that elusive little spark!