8 Things to Avoid for a Healthy Relationship
Now that you have passed the first stages – online dating, first dates, first night together, first “I love you”, etc. - you are happy to say that you are finally in a relationship with your 50+ partner.Although every couple has their up and downs and disagrees with each other from time to time, there are a few things to avoid if you want your love story to last. If you are a man or a woman over 50
, chances are that you have probably been involved in a relationship at some point in your life. Thinking about what did work and what did not in your last relationship – or marriage - could help you prevent making the same mistakes again.Here are a few things you should not do, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with your significant other.
You know it - communication is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. If you don’t talk about those things that bother you, your problems won’t just disappear. Instead, they will just keep growing bigger and less manageable.To avoid a sudden and uncontrollable outburst, it's important to say what you think! You are angry because you’re the only one doing the dishes? Say it! You don’t like the fact that he or she is always going out late without you? Say so! In short, if you disagree with your partner and have something to say or feelings you need to share, make sure that you do so.Additionally, conflict is not necessarily a bad thing in a relationship. Too many fights isn't good, but disagreeing and making your point is healthy. What is not so healthy is keeping things bottled up inside and not expressing yourself. The risk is that you will eventually feel suffocated. How can you fix the problem if you don't act?
Arguing about every little thing
On the contrary, making an issue out of everything can put your couple in danger. If every little thing annoys you, the source of your anger might not be your partner. Sit down and think about the things you are irritated about: are they really worth another argument?
Keeping your feelings bottled up inside
It’s not only about discussing things your partner did wrong. It’s also about those thoughts that might make you unhappy. If you are feeling sad, anxious or frustrated about anything, talk about it with your loved one. You don’t have to list everything that bothers you in your life, but your significant other is your partner, which means that you go through life together, side by side. Your 50 plus soul mate is also your confidante, so share your problems with them.
Being suspicious of your partner
Are you jealous? Spying on your loved one, as well as uncontrolled jealousy can destroy a relationship
. You can’t control the life of your significant other. Trust is essential for a relationship to last. If they went out with their friends without you, relax and don’t text them every other minute. Keep in mind that you love each other and that he or she is not cheating on you. Otherwise, you are going to go crazy and there's a good chance that your partner will too.
Becoming co-dependent and losing yourself
If you are constantly with your favorite person, you tend to merge with them and lose yourself as an individual. It’s not because you love your partner very much and want to spend all of your time with them that you should stop doing stuff on your own. You probably have your own group of senior friends
, your hobbies, and personal interests. Continue doing those things you like without your companion. Additionally, you’ll have new topics to talk about!
Losing the romance
After a while, too many mature couples tend to make less effort in their relationship: they don’t dress up for their love as much as they used to, romantic dinners become rarer and rarer. However, a nice breakfast in bed, compliments, flowers, and other sweet little gestures are vital for keeping the spark alive in your couple. Never stop doing kind things for each other. Also, why not recreate your first date
? There is no age-limit for romance!
Trying to change the other
You are not perfect and neither is your partner. You both make mistakes. Trying to change the other – their appearance, the way they are, their tastes – won’t make you happier. You can’t make them just like you or transform them into someone that corresponds more closely to your tastes. Both of you are unique individuals and therefore, different from each other. You fell in love with your senior partner for the whole package - their qualities and their faults. Make sure not to forget that!
Taking them for granted
“I love you” and “thank you” are two essential phrases to say in a serious relationship
. Knowing that you love each other is not enough. Showing your love – and expressing it – will maintain a strong bond between you and your companion. Showing your gratitude and appreciating their efforts or the kind things they do for you is just as important. You need to tell your partner how you feel about them!